Harry and Meghan don\u2019t know how good they have it. They want to bust out of their gilded cage and roam free, but they\u2019re so naive they\u2019re like fluffy kitties who have never crossed a busy road before and are likely to get squashed if they try.<\/p>\n
A key motivation to the shocking Megxit announcement this week \u2014 even as the Queen warned Meghan and Prince Ginger Whiskers against going public with their moronic plan \u2014 was their fury with the media. They hate the \u201cRoyal Rota\u201d system, in which a designated royal reporter and photographer cover their events as representatives of the entire media and the royals have to do a little light waving and smiling and generally go along with it. What they don\u2019t seem to understand is that this system exists for their protection; in exchange for the small compromise of making nice with designated journos on a set schedule, they get a break from the pandemonium of being trailed by hordes of invasive paparazzi at all times.<\/p>\n
They think life is so great outside the Firm? Let them call up Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Those two aren\u2019t royals. How much privacy did they enjoy during their relationship? Being in the crosshairs of the media evidently took its toll on both of them. Pitt lamented on a podcast released earlier this week that, \u201cI\u2019m just, like, trash mag fodder. I don\u2019t know \u2026 because of my disaster of a personal life, probably.\u201d He developed a drinking problem that hit crisis level on a plane in 2016, after which Jolie dumped him. It\u2019s not clear whether Pitt has any relationship with his son Maddox, 18, who is now a university student in Korea. When an interviewer asked about his dad visiting him on campus, Maddox said, \u201cI don\u2019t know about that [or] what\u2019s happening.\u201d Asked whether the pair\u2019s relationship is over, he added, \u201cWell, whatever happens, happens.\u201d Being a global celebrity who isn\u2019t in a royal family isn\u2019t automatically easy.<\/p>\n
Like all celebrities, H & M think their media coverage is intrusive but in their case they think the coverage is also racist and insufficiently respectful of their self-image, which is cool global ambassadors of woke. They envision puff pieces that portray them as daring new avatars for social justice, and there will be a few of those. But they also envision enjoying total control over their image. That just isn\u2019t going to happen. They say that in the future they will work only with \u201cgrassroots media organisations and young, up-and-coming journalists\u201d and \u201cprovide access to credible media outlets focused on objective news reporting.\u201d In other words: You\u2019re fired, media. H & M dream of picking and choosing their own outlets, preferably the \u201cgrassroots\u201d (read: progressive) ones that will amplify the political virtue-signaling envisioned by the Woke Wallis Simpson (as Brendan O\u2019Neill of Spiked dubbed the former Ms. Markle).<\/p>\n
As if! Within the royal embrace, media coverage is bubble-wrapped. Out there in the cold cruel world of ordinary celebrity, it\u2019s anything goes. No \u201cRoyal Rota\u201d agreement applies in Hollywood. It\u2019s every paparazzo out for himself, every time you go out for a coffee, and when you\u2019re on your own property you have to pay for your own security to keep them at bay instead of sending the bill to the taxpayer. The Royals, because of the circumstances of Princess Diana\u2019s death and because of the institutional respect commanded by the Crown, are just about the only celebs west of Vladimir Putin who can enforce any limits whatsoever over their coverage.<\/p>\n
Besides, if H & M ever were to break completely free of the Firm (unlikely), a big chunk of their mystique would be gone. They\u2019ll soon find themselves being mocked for pimping out their new Sussex Royal brand. Hoodies, T-shirts, socks, ball caps and pencils \u2014 really? They\u2019re going to leverage a thousand years of dignity and tradition for a bunch of cheesy crapola that\u2019s going to wind up at the Dollar Tree? The whole point of being royal is to float above and beyond ordinary existence, to make ordinary mortals fantasize about what it\u2019s like to be you. Once you\u2019re doing interviews with E! or hawking Christmas ornaments on the Home Shopping Network, you\u2019re just two schmucks getting torn apart by the late-night comics.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n
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